Monday, June 7, 2010


Change is inevitable! Our response to change is the only thing we can control. My spin, Chuck Swindoll's expression. I'm surely glad that there are smarter people than me around so I can read their thoughts of wisdom, nod my head in agreement and quote them to others. Smile.

The update is simple and will be quick as I need to get ready for Monday morning at the office. We did indeed meet the "special lady" and if I had been introduced to her at a conference or some other event I would have immediately liked her I'm sure. So, Frank is helping me to keep that attitude in the forefront of my thinking!

As it happened, we were also on hand for the first meeting between one of her children and my dad. (Could it get any thicker?! Deep sigh.) In the middle of that looooong hour, we were once again made thankful for babies. S.L. ("Special Lady") has a three year old granddaughter who is too cute for her own good. And she did an excellent job of keeping us entertained; allowing our focus to be diverted from the awkwardness of the moment.

S.L. also made it through the family fish fry just fine (yes, I do like alliteration). And so did we!

Frank had packed the car before anyone arrived so we made a quick exit as everything was wrapping up. As soon as we reached the interstate and reliable phone reception, I began a lengthy report for my sister. We turned the "diamond" every which way; tried to reassure each other that everything will be just fine; got off the phone and both cried. Steel Magnolias are only so tough. Smile.

That's pretty much it. Yesterday at church I was thankful for friends like Shirley who are able to look at you and just "know" without asking any questions. When they hug you, the love is genuine; restorative. When those friends make eye contact, there is an entire Hallmark card written in their expression. Hmmmm, makes you wonder if you are a friend like that to someone, doesn't it? But that's material for another post.

One other thing, if you've successfully walked through a similar situation (or even if it was unsuccessful and you've gained helpful insights - smile) I'd love to hear about your experience. I'm very open to instruction!

Hope your week is abundant!


  1. I am praying for you. I know it was difficult but you are an amazing woman and I know God will guide you through. I don't even want to think about that day but I know it will probably eventually come. Dad just moved this past weekend to a new house and it was so hard to go through all of moms stuff. The girls wanted to bring everything to our house!
    Luv U!

  2. Sheri I haven't had any experiences like you are having but I'll be praying for you & your sister. Two of my neighborhood friends have remarried after the death of a spouse after a long marriage. Both of them just glowed & seemed younger once they had somebody to keep them company. Their kids had lives of their own & one of them told me it made it easier for him not to have to worry about his mon being so lonely.

  3. I lost my mom when I was 21 and she was 42. My dad was young as well and I had the great fortune (ha!) of watching him reenter the singles world. It was difficult because my loyalty was to my mother and how dare dad not be loyal too? It took me a good year to become accustomed to dad being just dad and not half of "dad and mom."

    The only thing to remember is that his happiness is more important than your discomfort. You will get used to it and eventually be very happy for him.

    My dad has been remarried for about 10 years (I'm the 42 year old now) and he's very happy. I love his wife and she's an important part of our family. Hang in there!

  4. Hi there...I haven't posted before - usually just a lurker from Becky Smith's site. But, I too have been in your very shoes. Mom passed almost 5 years ago. Dad has been quite lonely and has recently (2 months now) met a special friend too. She is a very sweet lady and we enjoy her company, but it has been different seeing Dad with someone other than Mom.

    Dad has had his own set of medical problems. About 3 years after Mom passed, we discovered that Dad had a battle looming for him as well - multiple myeloma. So, Dad's whole existence was pretty much doctor's, clinics and hospitals with me and my sisters thrown in the mix.

    So, while I don't begrudge Dad any happiness at all -- it is just going to take a little time to get a little more used to his new friend. We each also have our own growing families - and Dad is still only 71! :)

    I know this may not help you much, but I am hoping you will feel comforted knowing there is another out there sharing in your situation.

    Prayers and Blessings to you!
    Beth Kayser