I've tried to write several times over the past week but I'm just too full of emotion.
It feels like if I open even one tiny bit of my heart (which writing requires), the dam would surely break. And the full tide of emotion would come spilling over the sides; flooding everything around me.
(Hmmm. Just reread that and it sounds a bit dramatic. Smile. Sorry.......but it's also pretty accurate.)
So much has transpired this summer. The weddings of Meagan and Amanda. Regular summer events. Praying with precious church families in difficulty. Planning fall and the 2012 calendar. Then finally, coping with the loss of Amanda both professionally and as a part of our daily lives. So much.
I think I probably anticipated this last spring and took a pro-active approach. I stitched things up tightly sometime in June and have held to the ends of those threads with something akin to a death grip! Smile.
Frank is slowly prying open my "spasm-ed" little fingers while speaking in soothing tones in an attempt to keep my heart calm. (More dramatic word-picture writing. Now you know why it has taken so long! Smile.)
But in the middle of it all, I came across a great statement that alleviates guilt: "I'll do the best I can with what I have for the Lord today!"
My brain may be frazzled. My emotions unbalanced. My heart aching. My foot hurting - oh wait, you didn't need a report on the corn I've developed, did you?! Smile.
All He asks is that I do the best I can with what I have available at this moment.
That, dear readers, merits a large "Sigh" of relief! And a smile.
So, no big object lesson today. And no funny story. Just a peek into the real heart of an honest, middle-aged woman. (Thought I'd take the opportunity to write "middle-aged" while I still can!)
Hope the rest of your week is blessed.