Monday, November 22, 2010

True Story

Thanksgiving is DEFINITELY in the air - I'm sure that I smell turkey already!

(If you've ever lived near a poultry farm, that statement brings to mind a w-h-o-l-e different smell, I know! One poultry farmer told us that he stepped out on his porch every morning, breathed in a deep whiff of the "fowl" air - pun totally intended - and said to himself, "Smell that money!!" Smile.)

I'm talking about the fragrance of an oven-roasted, perfectly seasoned, beautifully browned bird sitting on a holiday platter surrounded by green celery leaves and cranberries or crab apples......... Yummmmm!

Tomorrow we leave for North Carolina; we'll be celebrating Thanksgiving with Frank's family. Mom Hawley is the quintessential southern belle - in every sense of the phrase - and she makes a turkey that is unbelievable! (No pressure, Mom!)

Today, however, I must tell you a funny story from this weekend.

Joyce Meyer was in Tampa and a few of us pooled our resources in order to stay there and attend the conference. It was truly an amazing three days packed with teaching that I needed to hear. She spoke on fear, guilt, worry and insecurity. Powerful Instruction!!

If you've never attended one of her conferences, you should make the effort to do so. You'll definitely come away encouraged.

This particular conference was held in the St. Pete Times Forum which is actually an ice hockey arena. Let me tell you, hot flashes were NOT a problem there. After the first service, we were packing blankets along with our Bibles and notebooks!

Because I'm not an avid sports fan, I was unprepared for just how CLOSE those seats are. Joyce Meyer's conference was free but I guess that when hockey fans are willing to pay big money to sit in each of those seats, the designers feel it best to really pack 'em in there.

Even the people sitting behind and in front of us were only inches away. Do you get the feeling I'm telling you it was crowded?

Well, shortly before the service began, I became aware that the woman sitting behind me was having serious trouble with her foot.

"How did you know that, Sheri?"

I know it because her sizable extremity was resting on the back of my arena chair!!

I couldn't glance over my right shoulder without being accosted with the sight of her rather long toe nails! Now, I've already confessed that I'm not a regular attender of sporting events. But I'm pretty sure that utilizing your neighbor's chair as a foot rest is bad sportsmanship not to mention poor etiquette! Smile.

Well, I wish I could tell you that this affront was the worst of the situation - but oh no! There's more!!

It seems that people in such settings talk more loudly because of the arena noise and tend to forget that those sitting nearby are forced to become part of the conversation whether they wish to or NOT!

This poor woman has apparently suffered greatly because of her Sasquatch-like condition! Finding shoes that fit is hard enough but finding ones that also offer support is apparently impossible.

(At this point in her story, she engaged in vigorous massaging of said foot which occasionally caused her to brush the back of my hair with her hand!)

I tried shifting in my seat to draw her attention to the fact that she was not in the arena ALONE!!

Unfortunately, she mistook my movement to indicate that perhaps I was interested in her situation and would appreciate further information. So she raised her voice and launched into a detailed description of the various orthotics she has attempted to use in her quest for podiatry comfort! (Can you say, enough already?! Smile.)

I now know more about Dr. Scholl's and his associates than any consumer ever should!!

"Please, tell us that's all," you may be saying!

Oh, no. There's more!

The crowning moment came when mid-massage the lady realized that it had been a while since her last pedicure.............

She proceeded to clean her toe nail while holding it mere inches from my head!!

Well, that was it for me! I jumped up and only barely managed to avoid the reflex action of brushing off the back of my hair!! EEEWWWWWW!!!

(You can not make up stuff this funny - no matter how hard you may try! Smile.)

My conference buddies found the whole situation hilarious and offered no sympathy at all!

(Just how many exclamation points can one use in a single blog post?!!! Smile.)

Fortunately for me, the woman became engrossed in the service and finally suspended all foot-focused activity!

Other than that - it was a great evening! LOL

Hope my experience has brought you a smile; and perhaps even some important orthodic information!



6 comments:

  1. YOU had me laughing out loud! I'm glad the woman didn't ruin the whole service for you! LOL

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  2. LOL!!!! Wish I were there....I'll say no more! LOL!!!

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  3. I can definitely see this story showing up in your future speaking engagements and getting better and better with each telling. Waaaay too funny.

    That's the good thing about blogging--no matter what happens in life, the redeeming value is, "Well, I can always make a blog entry out of this!"

    In the midst of all the levity though, we must never forget what the Bible says about this particular subject. "Blessed are the feet of them who . . . um . . . clip their toenails at Joyce Meyer conferences?"

    Or not.

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  4. Stephanie Samara PrescottNovember 23, 2010 at 2:16 PM

    No matter what you write it brings a smile to my face. I love you so much! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving and thank you for the wonderful story I was able to see every part of it in my mind. You are too much my friend!

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  5. I'm with you, Sheri! EWWWWWW! However, I love Joyce Meyers (only on TV/DVD so far) and you handled the situation with lips sealed with grace (unlike some Northern counterparts whose lips may not have been sealed)! Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving and time in NC!

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  6. I put a link to your story on my Joyce Meyer Ministry Partners fan page and my readers loved it!LOL

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