Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A Memory Day

I had mentioned that I would probably feel compelled to share some thoughts with you about the season of my life just before losing Mom. This is one of those days.

Mom had been sick for twelve years with multiple myloma and there had been many rough patches through those years trying to adjust her treatment meds. But we were totally unprepared two years ago when Mom suddenly became confused and somewhat incoherent.

We got her checked in to the hospital in Pensacola for observation and were given a diagnosis of 6-9 months. Unfortunately, the diagnosis was wrong. Mom passed away four short weeks later! Shock I can't describe.

The following is part of an email I sent out to family and friends (Nov., 2008) just after receiving confirmation that she had four inoperable brain tumors. While this was a devastating time, as you can imagine, there was still humor to be found:

Dad was released from the hospital last Wednesday the 12th and decided to just stay in Mom's room sleeping on a cot. I flew back to Pensacola on Saturday morning and had a precious time with Mom by myself while Dad and my brother went to a church service Sunday.

The Lord gave me two scriptures in Isaiah 42 that assured me He is fully aware of Mom and her needs. I spent the week praying over her - "This is my servant, my anointed one" and "I will make the rough places smooth before her. I will not forsake her."

Every time that I would bend close to Mom and read these two verses, she would nod and smile and even give an "Amen" or an "um hmmmmm." Her ability to communicate is diminishing. It's so hard to have my articulate, wordsmith mother reduced to "Uh Huh" (yes) and "Un uh" (no).

Moving her from the hospital to the rehab center was much harder than we had anticipated. Although we did our best to explain the move to Mom, it was apparent from the look in her eyes that she was frightened and didn't fully understand.

Dad wept openly because he realized that sleeping in her room on the cot was the last evening they would spend together. And although the EMS workers tried to be empathetic, no one ever treats your mom the way you would.

Of course, Mom's gift to us has always been humor and right in the middle of all this we experienced a funny story. I called last night to speak to Mom and a nurse graciously ran to her room to hold the phone to Mom's ear.

We "talked" briefly, I prayed, then said good-bye rather loudly so the nurse would know I was finished. But I could still hear Mom breathing.

"Mom, you're still there aren't you?"
"Uh Huh."
"The nurse doesn't know we're finished, does she?"
"Un Uh."
"You're laughing at her, aren't you?!"
"Uh Huh!!" (Which was said with such energy that I knew Mom really WAS laughing in her heart.)

God proves His faithfulness. He made the rough places smooth for her. May the same be true for you today, dear reader!


  1. Can you puh-leeze post tissue alerts? :)

  2. That was beautiful...absolutely beautiful!

  3. Thank you for sharing.

  4. Thanks for sharing your story. It's never easy losing a loved one, especially when you're not expecting it! Although we knew Mom's leukemia had returned, who knew that she'd be gone 3 1/2 short weeks later! Just last Thanksgiving we were giving thanks for her remission and now she's gone! I miss her so much and this Thanksgiving will be especially difficult.