Birthday Jeans

So, I promised you a funny story. Actually I think I used the word "hysterical" (because to me it is). This should at least give you a smile and maybe even a chuckle.

Those of you who regularly read Embrace the Grace are aware that I am in the midst of a great battle. A battle in which many my age seem to be similarly engaged. It is, quite simply, the Battle of the Bulge!

Yes, I've been guilty of laughing through the years at the "Chest of Drawers Disease" joke. (You know, the one that goes - "My (husband, dad, uncle, friend) has chest of drawers disease. His chest has fallen into his drawers.") But if I had only known that women have their own unique difficulties after fifty, I would never have laughed! (Well, maybe not as much. Smile.)

Now, please understand that I'm one of those women who never experienced the little, teeny, cute-sie, cheer leader phase of life. My nick name in middle school was "Big Woman." Now there's a clue for you! I've tried to keep my eating under control most of my life because I knew the consequences of veering from that path would be both swift and dire.

But it seems that my metabolism which has s-l-o-w-l-y trudged along with me all these years, has come to a complete halt! And no amount of coaxing, walking, jumping, sweating, nor even "Zumba-ing" can get it moving again.

So, I have resorted to camouflage dressing. (Which is definitely an acquired art form as you will see.)

I'm constantly on the look-out for articles of clothing which offer maximum coverage for minimum expense. Consequently, when I spotted the tummy-control jeans at Sam's a few weeks ago, I just knew that I had struck gold. The label attached to the jeans touted their ability to work all manner of miracles using attractive words like: slim, reduce, tighten, firm......... they do everything but walk on the water for you! AND they were only $19.95!!!

Kristin happened to be with me and she immediately suggested that I buy a pair (or five). But I didn't want to spend the twenty dollars, so I gave her a subtle hint that sounded something like this: "My birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks. Tell your dad that I would like a pair." Smooth, huh?!

And so it was that on the day my birth was to be celebrated, I opened a lovely gift bag that amazingly happened to contain the very pair of miracle-working, tummy-tucking jeans to which I had so covertly alluded. Incredible!

Usually, in the Hawley household, all new purchases or gifts of clothing must be modeled immediately for the ooooo-ing and ahhhh-ing pleasure of those gathered. Fortunately, that did not take place this time. I was able to try on the jeans the next morning with no one around. And I now recognize that as a gift from heaven.

After a minimal amount of huffing, puffing, tugging, breath-holding, and standing tall, I managed to successfully zip the new jeans. And friends, IT WAS TRULY AMAZING!! (Cue heavenly sounding music with angelic "AHHHHH!" wavering in the background.) I looked down and was indeed able to run my hands over a totally taut tummy! I could hardly believe my eyes - it was like the greatest disappearing act of all time and all for only twenty bucks! I immediately made plans to contact the company and find out if they also made skirts suitable for Sunday wear.

But as with all magic tricks, there is the missing element of the unknown. They are called "illusions" for a reason. The laws of physics will not be denied and as we learned in Mr. Wolf's biology class so long ago, "For every action there is an equal and opposite RE-Action!" And so it was with the jeans.

My tummy had disappeared alright! But when I looked into the mirror, I discovered to my horror (cue the frightening horror music) that it had RE-Appeared in the form of a mudgey, pudgey, additional spare tire just above the waist band of the miracle jeans. (I'm aware that "mudgey" and "pudgey" are not real words but there don't seem to be real words to describe what I was seeing.) Ah, the harsh light of reality!

So, in my state of disappointment, I began the task of extricating myself from the tummy-tucking-travesty jeans. My wise family did not request visual proof of the fact that the jeans failed miserably. Once they stopped smiling at the verbal picture I painted for them, we all decided that it would be best to simply return the jeans to Sam's. They also vetoed my plan of standing next to the display with a sign stating: "These jeans are a cruel hoax!" It's good to have family.

You'll be happy to know that I've bought a pair of shoes instead! Have a great weekend.

Avoiding Chaos

It's no good when I let myself slide too long on posting! That's why I appreciate all those who keep me accountable.

The problem is that I'm trying to be more diligent about walking and that has to happen in the early mornings around here. Heat stroke is no laughing matter in FL these days. When I got home Tuesday morning it was 7:15 and the temperature was already 84 degrees! I'm so confused, it's almost impossible to tell the difference between normal heat and a power surge. Lord help when those hit and I'm not in an air conditioned room or car!

So anyway, the walk takes up my normal posting spot. I've confessed that I'm not excessively gifted with organizing things; I really don't do well with altering the few things I can control about my scheduling. Mess that up and you may find me sitting in the corner starring off into space, muttering quietly, trying to twirl the hair on my head that is entirely too short for twirling!

The young adults in our lives often question us about why we get up so early every morning. I MUST HAVE MY MORNING QUIET TIME OR I AM NOT A NICE PERSON!! (Do all caps indicate yelling in blog-speak? If so, that's what I meant to do. Smile.)

Frank and I both love to get up sometime between 5 and 6 A.M. While this may seem ridiculous to some and noble to others believe me - it's neither. It is simply - Necessary. I recently told a friend that I had to get a jump on the day before the day can jump on me! Smile.

I have a really hysterical story to share from my birthday but I'll have to save that for tomorrow. (You know, the whole "off-schedule" problem which leaves me no real time today.) I have sought my brain for the important message to be found in today's post. There probably isn't one unless it's this. Find a time to find yourself each day. That time makes life more lovely!

P.S. Our precious Amanda called at 6:00 this morning and said, "Grandma Ora has finished her race." What a beautiful way to put it. Oddly enough, I had been lying awake praying for them at just the time Amanda watched her pass into Glory. Ah, the gift in being part of the Body of Christ.

Our love and prayers are with that family in AZ. You can read more about them at Amanda's blog FRAGMENTS. (amandabock.com)

Birthday Blessings

This will undoubtedly be my fastest post of all time. (There were actually three other sentences here but I typed them so quickly that they literally flew off the page. Yeah, not really.)

In just a few moments I will be headed home for my "Birthday Dinner" and I am definitely looking forward to it. No cooking; no cleaning; just showing up and exhibiting genuine gratitude. I can do that! Besides, getting older is no big deal at this point. Yesterday marked my 52nd year on this earth.

Silly side note which demonstrates my poor math skills. The year I turned 24, Frank thought it would be funny to convince me - mathematically - that I had turned 25! He seemed so certain; sincere even. And as the trusting young bride, I bought it. Uh Huh!

Spent that entire year telling people that I was 25. It wasn't until the next July that he corrected his little joke. I see you thought it was funny too! Now you understand why I had math tutors for the girls while we were home-schooling.

Anyway, my family has actually managed to turn this into a three-day event. Frank and I enjoyed some "birthday-ish" time on Friday. The girls had created "encouragement notes" that they posted randomly throughout the house and tucked in special hiding places where I would find them later. (My favorite was when I lifted the cover off my tea kettle; which they knew I would surely do on Sunday morning. Attached to the kettle was a brightly colored note - "You're still a Hot Tea!" Get it? Hottee?! How cute are they?!!)

There were three red roses and a card on my desk from Frank. The church showered me with cards placed in a lovely crystal basket in the foyer; along with a fabulous spring bouquet. My facebook account was filled with greetings. Several messages were from missionary friends and two of those were in the language of their field. Such Fun!

The only bad spot was that I misplaced my phone for the day and couldn't find it anywhere. We searched high then low then high again; still nothing. Finally, around 7:30 when the evening breezes were blowing and the mosquitoes had not yet arrived, I went out to sit on my swing for a few minutes. There was my little phone, sitting all alone; right where I had left it on Saturday night.

So if you tried to call me, I did not look at the caller I.D. and choose to ignore your call as you suspected. No indeed. Who in their right mind would miss out on a birthday call?! "Not I," said the little old birthday girl. I simply couldn't find my phone to answer your call. But if you left a message, I will have the joy of replaying it several times. Smile.

And now I must be on my way. I already have explicit instructions to NOT look into the refrigerator when I arrive home. As a matter of fact, I was later told to not even look into the KITCHEN! No problem at all. I shall turn into the driveway; go straight to my bedroom; change clothes and enjoy a few chapters of the book I'm currently reading.

What a plan!

The Unexpected

When you love people and you genuinely love being able to serve them, there is never a moment when you step completely away from that. Yesterday was a case in point.

Frank and I were home, taking some time to relax. And the day was moving at a pretty slow pace. Just as I was getting ready to put together a leisurely lunch, the phone rang and it was Amanda (our young adults pastor and "adopted" daughter).

She had gotten the call from her mom that she had been dreading. Her grandmother, who has been battling cancer, was unresponsive; the family had already booked a flight to Phoenix for Amanda and we had one hour to help her get ready to go.

Amanda's relationship with her grandmother has been similar to that shared by Elijah and Elisha from the Old Testament. Grandma Ora has been somewhat of a miracle worker in their home town of Maran, AZ. In fact, if you were to Google her name, you would discover that she is identified as: former mayor, historian, and philanthropist. And it is quite apparent that the "mantle" of greatness will fall on Amanda; these two have shared a special bond throughout Amanda's life.

We all jumped into action trying to help Amanda make her flight.

She was swinging by the house to pick me up (there was never any question as to who would drive her to the airport) so I grabbed a quick shower and threw on jeans and a t-shirt. Frank took over preparations for our dinner with the Schreck Family. Kristin left work to meet us at her apartment and help pack. Multiple scenarios had to be thought through, clothes chosen, thrown in a suitcase. Oh, make sure that thing doesn't go over the allowable weight!

A quick stop at the church office to gather Bible, journal, and one book; print the ticket.

Sorrow pressed the edges of our hearts and threatened at every moment to come rushing out with a flood of emotion. But we had to push back because giving in at that point would have been disastrous; we would never have made the flight in time.

Adrenaline was still pumping as Amanda and I jumped into the car, slammed the doors and started checking off the necessary items. Our voices were low and very controlled as we rehearsed: "Driver's license; e-ticket; wallet; Bible; suitcase; purse. Let's go!" Her beautiful green eyes were wide, searching for reassurance that everything would somehow be okay.

Of course, tropical depression Bonnie had made landfall in Miami a few hours earlier. So the outer rain bands were just reaching us as we hit I-4 for the drive to Orlando. High winds, pouring rain, traffic clogged by fender-benders. Sigh. Nothing to do but just press on as cautiously (and quickly) as possible.

We made it safely to the airport in time and tipped the sky-cap for helping get the suitcase checked. (Fortunately for us, the scale at curbside wasn't functioning properly. The lady grunted as she lifted Amanda's suitcase to guess at the weight. I had explained the situation. "Aww, it's close" she said. And hefted the bag onto the belt.)

We only had time for a quick, fervent prayer and a tight hug full of unspoken thoughts. Tears were beginning to spill over as she took a deep breath and headed for the terminal. I waited until she got inside; then eased into the traffic and gave way to my own rush of tears. (Not the safest thing but surely you knew they were coming.)

I drove home in relative quiet. There was a CD playing hymns revised for those under thirty. I drank deeply from the truth of the lyrics - even though the arrangements weren't really conducive for a "sing-a-long". Smile.

And I talked to Jesus. Honestly. Respectfully. Pausing to listen for what He would say in return. His message? "I love you unconditionally and my grace is sufficient. Always. And in all ways."

I realized that I was also reliving the mad dash I made to north FL when I received a similar call about my own mom suddenly dropping into an unresponsive state. So much emotion.

Times like this seem to dig deep trenches in our hearts. But I believe those trenches eventually serve as conduits allowing His mercy and grace to rush like a mighty river into the lives of people around us. Those who are parched, afraid, lonely, hopeless.

It's true - God never wastes anything! Even difficulty.

Much to Appreciate

I'm not quite sure what direction to take with today's post. There are so many things going on and most of them I fear you would find boring. (Besides, how do I top the post of "Great Expectations"?!!!!! Smile.)

But I do have a few friends that keep me accountable if I get slack in my commitment to write- so here I am!

Today brings the blessing of a true day off for us and by nine o' clock we had enjoyed the sunrise; finished devotions; walked the lake; eaten breakfast and prepared a "to do" list. Now, comes the slow-down part. Frank, just back from the chiropractor, is reading; I'm writing; Gracie and Bella are resting and I fear the rest of the "to do" list will suffer. Sometimes ya just gotta breathe!

Tonight we will enjoy another meal with John's family who are down from Poughkeepsie, NY for vacation. His mom, Linda, and I are mirror images of one another in so many ways. We are both credentialed ministers, we're energized by people, enjoy working for a church, love our families, etc. She's a tall, lovely blond (please understand that I'm a tall, lovely blond on the inside). And when she says my name, you KNOW she didn't grow up around these parts. Smile.

She and I have decided that some day we will "tag team preach" and people won't know what hit them. The sermon topic won't really matter; between the drawl and the twang there will be great entertainment! A little something for everyone.

Actually, their family has been an answer to a prayer we started praying over our girls when they were very young. We became acutely aware of the truth in the old saying, "You not only marry the person. You marry their family as well!" So as Frank and I prayed for the girls' spouses, we also prayed that their spouses' families would hold similar beliefs to ours and that we would enjoy being around one another.

The Schrecks have been an answer to that prayer! John really did grow up being drug to church in spite of the snow, wind and rain. He and his three brothers have known what it is to entertain themselves while their parents chat with just one more person after service. They know all the best church hiding spots. They know what it is to help set-up and tear-down for a service happening in the gym; and they grew up knowing how to make that fun.

Consequently, when John became "Pastor John" for our youth group, he already knew how to work hard without complaining. How to be punctual, responsible, reliable; a spiritual leader and self-starter. (No, pastor friends of mine, he is not looking for a new position! Are you kidding?) He was reared just like our girls were; except for the make-up and hair bows and high heels, of course. Smile.

Linda and I spend a lot of time being thankful when we get together. In fact, as wedding plans were moving forward in 2007 we happened to be discussing what music we (the moms) would like hear as we entered the sanctuary. We both requested the song by Wayne Watson, Somewhere in the World Out There. (If I were a more experienced blogger I would include a link to those words right here. Sorry, you'll have to google them for yourself; but they are worth the effort. Smile.)

It was such fun to discover that the song had been significant to both of us when our children were little (even though we didn't know each other at the time). It talks about praying for the spouse they will one day need. "I don't even know your name. But I'm praying for you just the same. Hold on to Jesus, Baby; wherever you are!" Yes, Linda and I couldn't help but cry as we were escorted down the aisle for Joy and John's wedding celebration. We were women living out the joy of answered prayers!

Hmmmmmmmm.

And now, here we are some three years later - still thankful. We shall undoubtedly be the most grateful grandmothers anyone ever saw!! Smile.

Hope your day is especially blessed!

Great Expectations

HEAR YE!! HEAR YE!!

To all the dear readers of this blog, all those who are related, who are unrelated, to friends, acquaintances, church members, former church members, individual I once smiled at on the subway in Baltimore - let it be known:

I AM GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!!!!!

I have waited so very long to get to type those words that now I feel compelled to type them again. So I will:

I AM GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!!!!!

My cup runneth over; my joy knows no bounds; I am delirious with delight! Do you see the light radiating from my beaming smile all the way down here in central FL?

Joy and John Schreck (our middle daughter and most amazing son-in-law; actually he's our only son-in-law and that's beside the point) will be welcoming their first child into the world on (or around) February 8, 2011. Frank and I are absolutely beside ourselves!

The happy couple have known since Memorial Day but waited until we celebrated Father's Day to tell us. Everything is a production in our family; each event merits a memory being made. So Joy and John were very clever. They set it up for their Father's Day card be saved until last. Frank read it aloud just as he had the others and thanked them.

John then said, "Uh, Dad. You need to read it again - carefully."

Frank gave a puzzled look but dutifully began to reread the card. "Mumble, mumble, great dad, mumble, mumble. Nothing unusual here......Love, John, Joy and Baby." "And BABY?!!"
His head shot up, eyes searching for Joy's which were now brimming with tears. "For real? A BABY??!!!" The table erupted with screams of delight, shouts of congratulations, tears, hugs, laughter.

It was quite awhile before we all settled down enough to remember that Frank hadn't opened any gifts yet. The greatest gift had already been given: Frank was finally a POPPA! (Just in case you're wondering, I hope to be called NANA. But I'm sure I'll answer to whatever the baby wants to call me. Smile.)

The only problem with all this great news was that it had to be kept quiet until the doctor gave the clearance to tell. I don't mind telling you that this has been one of the toughest assignments we've ever been given. But we made it! (Only one person guessed and Joy and John were planning to tell her early anyway.)

Now, I know that all this "carrying on" may make it sound like we think we are the first people to ever become grandparents. Not at all. We've listened with truly glad hearts as many of our friends have told about the most brilliant children on the planet - their grandchildren - for years. And we've gladly celebrated each one.

No, this joy is made sweeter because of the sorrow we experienced right after Mom passed away Dec., 2008. At the end of that same month, Joy and John told us they were expecting a baby. We were so happy and it seemed a special gift after so much sadness. They shared the news with our church family and everyone was thrilled.

But just a week later, Joy began to have complications and before we had time to think, she was rushed into emergency surgery. It was an ectopic pregnancy and her fallopian tube had ruptured. We will have to wait until heaven to meet that precious little one. There was a long recovery and many tears that winter.

So yes, we've behaved a little more exuberantly than we might would have otherwise. God has graciously smiled on the John A. Schreck family and has blessed us with yet another life to be celebrated; and believe me, we will! I have a sonogram picture on the refrigerator and you can already tell that this child is both brilliant and beautiful! Smile.

I had a real shock about the world of instant news yesterday when I was given the green light to post my new "status" on facebook. Within three minutes of posting our news, I had nine responses of congratulations. Now that's fast!

Yes, I've joined the club. The club of silly-acting, money-spending, rule-bending, sugar-sneaking, brilliance-bragging, picture-showing: GRANDPARENTS!! How sweet it is!

The Sunday Nap

I would like to submit that there is nothing quite so delectable, delightful nor so delicious as the famed - Sunday Afternoon Nap!! There is a proper sequence that should be carefully followed in order to create the maximum Sunday Afternoon Nap experience. The nap is preceded by the Sunday Morning Services(s) which are immediately followed by Sunday Lunch in order to create the optimum segue.

Yes, it's true that you can nap on other days of the week but that just isn't as satisfying for some reason. Mostly because if you nap on another day, it's because you're sick (no fun) or because you're guilty of stealing time from some project that you should be doing (no joy). Even a Saturday Nap cannot quite compare to the Sunday Afternoon Nap.

As I ponder this truth, I am made to wonder if the major glory of this experience is somehow tied to the fact that historically it was on Sunday afternoons that women usually were able to finally rid themselves of the horrid "industrial strength pantyhose" which had been holding them together for the duration of Sunday School, Sunday service(s), lunch, leisurely chatting, farewell-baby-kissing, etc. (Run-on sentence, I know. But if you've ever experienced the blessed moment of extrication from industrial strength pantyhose then you KNOW that a run-on sentence is merited. Smile.)

Anyway, I think that perhaps the Sunday Afternoon Nap may even qualify for "Sin Status" in some circles where anything pleasurable is frowned upon. Because it does indeed bring such incredible pleasure to the participants.

As for me, I begin to anticipate my nap well before dessert or coffee is served at lunch. (That's due to the fact that right now I'm trying my best to avoid empty calories.) Others at my table ooooo and ahhhhh over the delicacies on their saucers. I begin allowing my mind to wander to the great moment when I'll grab the designated "nap quilt", pull my "sleeping pillow" from behind the decorative pillows, snuggle down under the "nap quilt" and take that deeply satisfying sigh that says - "Come, oh delightful hour of respite!"

Yeah, I don't know if this post is due to the fact that I've been reading a lot from the King James Version of the Bible or if it's because I just really needed a nap today. Either way, I'm sticking by my belief that the Sunday Afternoon Nap is a blessing from Heaven that should be enjoyed by all God's children.

And that concludes my rambling for today! (Julia Child would sign off with "Bon Apetite!" Is there a comparable phrase for "Happy Napping!" ? I'm not sure about that one.)