Monday, July 20, 2015

Clickers and Closers

Are you a Clicker or a Closer?

I truly believe that most people in this world fall into one of two categories: Clickers and Closers.  The camp in which you find yourself can be rather revealing.  Please, allow me to explain.

This clarification of personalities came into focus for me during my college dormitory years.  I only had two room mates.  Both were Clickers!

When Frank and I first married, he too was a Clicker.  But he soon became an excellent Closer!

"Sheri!  What in Heaven's name are you rambling about?!"

Clickers are the people who close the door behind themselves without thought of what the closing will sound like in the room they've just left.

Closers take time to quietly turn the door knob, slowly close the door then release the handle so as to make no perceptible noise for anyone remaining in the room they've vacated.

We're all Clickers during the day.....unless you have children sleeping peacefully in the room you hope to leave.  Then you'll immediately become a Closer.  And you dare anyone in the house to be anything less!

Many Clickers are dear people. (i.e. my room mates and my husband).  They just aren't aware of what their habit causes.   For the person trying to grab just fifteen more moments of precious rest, the last thing they want to hear is the door clicking shut.

In our tiled dorm room, that click echoed like a cannon going off.  And you can imagine the irritation; frustration; annoyance it caused the one who had been sleeping.

I even went so far as to demonstrate the fine art of Closing for one of my room mates.  She looked at me over her study guide and sniffed with a bit of disdain at the conclusion of the demonstration.

And although I carried on as the Closer anytime she was sleeping, she maintained her Clicker ways until we graduated.  It's hard to convert some people.

Frank converted rather quickly!  Of course, we were newlyweds.  In that phase of doing any and every thing that brought a smile to the face of the other!  To his credit, he remains a kind and faithful Closer all these years later.

Most RV's have doors that force all occupants into the role of Clickers.  Thankfully, ours had regular doors with handles which allowed the family Closers to flourish.  (The girls' space had a pocket door; cancelling the question of  Clicking or Closing entirely.  Sliding Only Required by All.)

Clickers and Closers - two distinct camps of thought and action.

I had to laugh at myself recently as I slowly backed out of the room where Noah was sleeping.  I turned the door handle ever so carefully.  Pulled the door toward me without sound.  Released the handle noiselessly.  And moved away silently.

The reward for all my effort - a long, satisfying nap time for Noah! The child on the other side of the door slept for almost two hours.  I had those closed eyelids in mind the entire time I attempted to close the door without disturbing him.

As I've aged, I've discovered that the Clickers and Closers exist in every area of life....not just one's home.

Some people are Closers in conversation.  A topic comes up that will leave another person in an unfavorable light or make someone else in the conversation uncomfortable.

Closer to the Rescue.  The Closer steps in, expertly diverts the conversation flow and effectively closes the door on what could have been a disturbing, hurtful discussion.

The Clicker invariably responds with pursed lips, raised eyebrow, impatient sigh.  All signs indicating that they had plenty more information to share if only the Closer hadn't interrupted.  The feelings of the person "on the other side" really not mattering as much as the Clicker's desire to share.

You'll find Clickers and Closers in traffic, at stores, concerts, even at church now and again:
  • "This is the row where I sit.  I'm not moving over to make it easier for you."  (CLICK)  
  • "My friends and I always ride together.  Sorry!"  (CLICK)
  • Body language speaking loudly - "My back is to you because I have no intention of including you in my conversation!"  (CLICK)
I've been a Clicker - more times than I'd like to admit.  Clicking just seems to come naturally.  Closing can be awkward.
 
Being a Closer takes extra effort.  Many times, your work as a Closer will go unnoticed.  And some people you encounter will choose to live as Clickers their entire lives.

But I've noticed something about the times I'm able to operate as a Closer - it makes me feel better about myself.  It's like giving a little gift to someone; even if they don't realize or acknowledge it.

Clickers and Closers.

Which one are you?  I'd love to hear your thoughts -


  








 




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