Monday, December 31, 2018

The Pooping Pup and Other Afflictions

So, I read back over my first post for this last day of 2018 and it sounded rather idyllic.  Perhaps a little "too Perfect" to reflect reality.  I decided an additional list would be appropriate.  All I'm reporting to you has happened in the span of about six hours.  No poetic licensing was taken in the writing of this post.  It has been SOME kind of day!

  • Kitty, the Schreck's Great Dane puppy we're dog-sitting, is NOT house trained.  Kitty is NOT kennel trained.  Kitty is seriously Un-Trained in all areas related to dog training.  Since we picked her up yesterday, she has filled her kennel about six times.  (She only eats four cups of carefully measured food each day.  I mean, WHERE is all this stuff coming from?!)
  • I'm still recovering from a pretty serious cold that started on Christmas day.  All the nasal issues have now morphed into a nasty cough.  The medicine is almost as bad because it makes me so sleepy.  My get up and go has gotten up and gone.  I was getting ready at the speed of someone moving through drying cement.
  • While I was getting ready to go to lunch, Frank called.  He calmly reported that our car was broken down on the side of the road.  He and Steve had been on their way to brunch and smoke started coming out from under the hood.  Fortunately, we have one free tow each year; glad we waited until today to use it.
  • He said I should go on to lunch with Becky.  So I finished brushing my hair, grabbed my purse and hurried out of our bedroom.  That's when I discovered fiasco number three.  It seems the sheets had all bunched together in the dryer which put the dryer off balance which caused serious vibration which threw my container of liquid detergent onto the hall carpet with such force that the lid popped off and detergent SOAKED said carpet.  Why, yes!  As a matter of fact, I HAD just purchased the detergent which usually lasts me about three months.
  • I managed to salvage a small bit of the bright blue liquid, threw a towel over the mess for addressing later and headed toward the door.  That's when I saw the tow truck carrying our little red car coming up the road.  I waited so Frank and Steve could just drop me off and go on to their brunch turned lunch.  They regaled me with stories of the foul-mouthed tow truck driver who seemed to be applying for his own spot on a reality TV show with the unbelievable tales he told during their drive.
  • Becky is a patient friend who said she enjoyed the half hour she had to wait for me.  SIGH!  Her sweet smile was kind but seriously, who wants to wait for anyone that long?  We enjoyed our meal and our time together (as always) then she brought me home. 
  • On the ride home, I received a text from a friend who realized in all our holiday hurriedness, Frank and I had neglected to register for our ministerial licenses.  We had until end of business day to tackle that problem or pay a substantial fine.  Frank took the call like a champ.  "I'll handle it, Honey."   
  • As Becky and I pulled into the driveway, I discovered I had given my house key to Frank.  We've since locked the window I used for climbing in last time I was locked out.  Fortunately, there is a tiny (I do mean TINY) window beside our bed.  There was no other option so I crammed my pleasingly plump self through that 18" opening like a professional contortionist.
  • Relief at being inside flooded my heart as I slowly uncurled my 60-year-old back.  But my joy was short-lived as I realized the air was FILLED with a decidedly unpleasant odor.  I rushed into the dining room to discover that our grand dog had yet AGAIN filled her kennel.  But apparently all that excreting had caused her to want to dance with relief herself.  She had spun round and round in her kennel several times.  So many times, in fact, that she had not only spread everything around every open inch of the kennel, it had also splashed out onto the floor and I even found some on the wall beside her kennel.  Can Not Make This Up! 
  • Being careful where I stepped with the cute little red shoes I wore to lunch, I drug the kennel (with the dog still in it) onto our outside patio.  The hose was waiting.  I reached in carefully and grabbed Kitty's collar planning to secure her on the outside leash while washing the kennel.  Did I mention that Kitty is a very playful and loving dog?  Did I mention that even though a puppy, her paws easily rest on my shoulders she's so big?  Happy to be free, Kitty bounded out of the kennel and started jumping up onto Noni with those huge, poopie paws.  My cute little lunch outfit was quickly covered with unpleasantness!  
Right now, Frank is working with the shop vac trying to get up all the liquid detergent slung far and wide in our hallway.  My seriously soiled lunch outfit is washing. He managed to get us registered for another year of ministry.  We have a plan in place for getting our car to a dealership.  I'm watching Kitty rest while I type - no she has NOT gone to the bathroom again since being outside. And I need to prepare something for our New Year's Eve dinner.  At this point, it may just be chicken soup and a scrambled egg sandwich.  

This post is purely for the purpose of giving you a little chuckle and for letting you know that No One has a perfect life.  We all have our maladies to face.  May yours be few this coming year and much smaller than great danes that poop and prance and paw their Nonis.  

Happy New Year, Friend!

11 comments:

  1. Oh MY Sheri,

    My little stint of waiting for you at lunch was nothing compared with the challenges of you and Frank's day. Love the fact that you can still smile (and write a delightful post) through it all! Hoping there is a pause in the pooping (and other predicaments) and you can get some rest from your labors. So enjoyed seeing you today!

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    1. Time with YOU was definitely a bright spot! Thanks again for being so patient. :-)

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  2. Makes me smile so big 😂 my life with three little boys is similar, every time I turn my back someone spills something and someone else poops somewhere. 🤷‍♀️ Love you! Hope your sandwich was delicious! Lol

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    1. Glad it gave you a smile! It's a season, Sweet Girl. Love you and your precious tribe Much! :-)

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  3. I loved hearing both perspectives--the sunny one and the where the rubber meets the road one. Wow, you sure had the catastrophes! I would have been pretty grouchy about mid-way through there! I guess the choices are always there: laugh, cry, get grouchy, wax philosophical or maybe just a mixture of them all! So happy the Hawley/Smith friends and grandparents can be together this week. You're sure making some memories! Happy New Year to you all! Love, Deb Mantik

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    1. Trust me, Deb. There was definitely some grouchy mixed in there. LOL Blessings to you and Randy for the coming year.

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  4. I am tired just reading all that. Glad you could smile about it. Mel

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    1. I DID sleep well that night! :-) Thanks for commenting.

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  5. Oh my! I so appreciate your honesty and sense of humor, Sheri. I also laughed so hard (with great empathy) I had tears rolling. With a young grandson and an ailing cat in my home, I never have a clue if it'll be a peak, valley, or upward trudge day!

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  6. Glad it brought you some laughter! That's the BEST part of a rough day. LOL

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